Carli's Latest Blog Entry
“Man, Carli what’s going on?” you ask. “You haven’t posted in forever.” The easy answer is I’ve been super busy. The long answer is that my blog is always first in my heart, I love to write and tell stories, and I love to help people reach their fitness goals. But, sometimes my workaholicness (made-up word) gets in the way. I have a great idea for a fitness iPod app. I wanted to look into seeing what it takes to make one, and the guy I talked to started to build it. He built a demo in a week. This app project was on my to do after taxes, after my e-book, after redecorating my living room list. But somehow it jumped it to top of the list, while trying to juggle a vacant rental unit, leaky pipes and old lady tenants that need help opening the freshly painted windows. Oh, and all of this is between helping my mom with her business and my “real job” that takes up 40 hours a week. Did I forget anything? Oh yeah, and trying to date and meet someone new. Which is difficult when I meet guys that say “I broke up with my fiancé last week, but I’m done lying and cheating and ready for a relationship.” ugh … I had to politely tell him I didn’t think we were a good fit. If you’re wondering, I still talk to my Special Friend. We’re cool, but that’s just it. We’re friends. Time to move on.
Amongst all my busy life stuff, I am proud to declare that I’ve been “clean and sober” since I wrote that post nearly a week ago. No soda, no cookies. I’ve had to battle the caffeine withdrawal headaches and one day those 3 for 99 cent fresh baked cookies from McDonalds were calling my name. But, I didn’t give in. And, I didn’t eat any other sweet treat as a substitute. That’s how I am, if I can’t have the cookies, then I don’t want anything else. This further re-affirmed why I cut them out of my diet (again.) I’ve been keeping WW points during the day, and slacking off in the evening. I went to my Weight Watchers meeting but opted not to weigh in. I felt like seeing a higher number might send me to a place I didn’t want to be. I’m trying to detach myself emotionally from the scale, but that day, I knew I wasn’t able to do it. I realized that sometimes we put unnecessary pressure on ourselves. What was the worst thing that could happen? Would everyone laugh at the girl too afraid to weigh in? Or would the meeting leader look at me with shame and disgust?…nope. Nothing happened except she told me she never makes anyone weigh in, and I sat down and enjoyed the meeting. I don’t plan on making a habit out of it not weighing in; but it was nice to take control over the situation. Sometimes you need a break from the scale. Maybe, I didn’t lose weight, (maybe I did) but I had the major non-scale victory of breaking 2 of my most destructive habits.
Last week was really tough for me emotionally. Leaving a job is hard, even if you’re ready to go. The partner at the firm never directly acknowledged that I was leaving, he just gave me massive projects with fast deadlines. One of my co-workers looked like she wanted to cry on my last day. And, during my wrap-up meeting with the Human Resources lady, she gave me a hug! That is the last person in the world, I thought I would hug. On top of all of that, I had the anxiety of starting a new job. Will I be good enough, will I know enough, what if they don‘t like me? Somehow I managed to revert back to old ways and feed all those happy/confused emotions with snicker doodle cookies and ice cream.
My lawyer friend had a get-together Saturday night, and I ate countless appetizers and homemade pound cake with ice-cream. I even brought pound cake home with me. I’m surprised I didn’t go back to my ultimate food high, a honey bun and a Mountain Dew. Unlike the Texas trip where I consciously ate unhealthy foods, this time I felt out of control. But, the weird part was the food didn’t taste as good. You know that mmmmm melt in your mouth feeling when you eat delicious calorie laden sugary food? It wasn’t there, it wasn’t the same. That was strange. I took the cookies to my parent’s house to get them away from me and took the pound cake to my sister. I cooked a couple meals for dinner during the week to avoid the fast food trap.
I was so scared about weighing in because I wasn’t emotionally prepared to see the scale go up again, knowing that I lost control for a few days. I didn’t want to let myself continue in a downward spiral. I didn’t take a break between jobs and I was scheduled to start my new job at noon on Monday. I ran some quick real estate errands and went to the gym. I hadn’t been to the gym in forever, I wasn’t even sure if I could still do the elliptical machine. Much to my surprise, it wasn’t as bad as I thought. It wasn’t hard at all really. I pedaled fast and hard towards the end of my 30 minute routine. When I had about five more minutes left, my Little sister walked in. We were both shocked to see each other. Why didn’t you tell me you were coming we asked each other? I forgot she was out of school for President’s Day, and she assumed I was at work. It would have been a lot less boring to have someone to chat with, but I’m glad that we both had enough motivation to go alone.
When I got to my new job, they treated me to lunch and introduced me to my team. Everything is structured and organized, the way a law firm should be. The office building consists of three converted historic townhomes, so my office has a fireplace and sliding pocket doors. It’s so cozy. It’s really easy to veer off the food plan, and hard to get back on. But, slowly but surely I’m getting back to regular tracking and away from insane eating. Just this weekend I discovered that the Weight Watcher e-tools are available on my Blackberry. All of this time, I thought I had to have an android phone to get the app. I could smack myself upside the head for not knowing that. After my 1st day of work, I went to the store, and got lost. I had to go home and let Nyah out, and the WW meeting would have been over by time I got there. I was so upset that I missed that accountability, but also relived that I didn’t risk allowing the scale to stress me out. I’m still working on detaching my emotions from the scale. The good news is that I have been tracking my points again, and the scale at home shows weight loss. My Sister told me that, God grants and new mercy every day, and I say every morning WW gives me fresh new points to use. Even if I fall off the wagon, I can climb back on.
They always say that people like to read lists. So here is a list of 5 Reasons I had to pinch myself to see if I was dreaming.
Pinch Me Reason #1 I quit my job today! I’m making millions on the internet and no longer have to work a 9-5. Okay…so I’m not making millions online, not even hundreds, but I did quit my job. Way back in the summer I interviewed for a job at another law firm. But, they specialized in asbestos cases and I don’t have much experience with that. However, the partner and the attorneys really liked me and said they would keep my resume on file. On Friday they asked me to come in to discuss a new position they had created. The position is a hybrid position combining paralegal and IT skills. Computers are my thing and I have eight years of paralegal experience, so naturally it was a perfect fit. At the end of the meeting the partner offered me the job! I was shocked and honored that they remembered me and chose me. The office manager at my current job looked completely surprised when I gave my two week notice. I’ll keep my reasons for leaving professional and just say that the firm was not the best fit for me. It was two long years, and I’m grateful for the change.
Pinch Me Reason #2 On Saturday when I put on my winter coat, I said “oh man, my coat got bigger.” Then I realized wow, I got smaller.
Pinch Me Reason #3 I’m so glad that it’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently. Throughout the week I consistently counted my weight watcher points. There was one time I cheated and didn’t track the right portion sizes. Then I realized I was only cheating myself, and went back and corrected it. Then yesterday I went to my sister’s Super Bowl party. I ate nachos, a hot dog, barbecue chicken wings, and even a cupcake (or a cut-kate as my three year old niece pronounces it.) I was so scared to weigh in today. I changed into a pair of scrubs, the lightest article of clothing I own. My Special Friend told me not to worry because he was convinced that I would lose weight again this week. I figured he was nuts, especially since I ate the cut-kate. He gave me a big fat “I told you so” when I told him I lost THREE pounds this week. That’s a total of 11.4 pounds! I’ve been losing weight for five weeks in a row, and I have to tell you it feels great.
Pinch Me Reason #4 What else could I possibly be excited about? I’ve decided to write an e-book. For those who don’t know, an e-book is an electronic book that you can download instantly to your computer or electronic device. I’ve written about 70 pages already on a topic I think you will enjoy. I hope to launch the book in early March.
Pinch Me Reason #5 Lastly, that investment property rehab project that’s been stressing me out for months, and draining all my money is finally done. It passed the final inspection and I can move in a new tenant. Here’s a before and after picture of the bedroom. The Maintenance Man truly is a miracle worker.
Before Rehab, after the Hoader Moved Out
After he worked his Magic
I’ve been doing a really great job staying on the weight watchers plan for the last month. It’s really a mind over matter thing, but sometimes I lose my mind and forget I’m on plan. On Friday afternoon they sent out one of those dreaded food emails, detailing whatever free treats are in the office kitchen. This particular day it was chicken wraps. How bad could a chicken wrap be? It could be my afternoon snack. I hurried over to the kitchen eager to get one before they were gone, completely ignoring the fact that I wasn’t really even hungry. They looked good, so I got two. Prize in hand on the way back to my desk I saw the left over brownies from the same meeting at another secretary’s desk. Yummy free brownies, how dare she not include that in that in the email? Free dessert always tastes better. I got two brownies as well. Then it hit me as I looked down at the two handfuls of food hidden in the paper towel, so no one would see how much I really got. I’m a weight watcher now, trying to get healthy, I don’t eat like this anymore. I no longer hide food and mindlessly eat because it’s free or because it tastes good. I put one of the brownies back.
When I got back to my desk I started eating the chicken wrap which was very difficult with my new braces on my teeth. I threw the other wrap in the trash. But there, are starving kids in Africa, that’s wasteful right? Well, I’ll say a prayer for them and release the guilt of throwing away food. Well maybe I can take it home and give it somebody I thought. But in reality, my family would look at me like I was crazy if I brought over a half of a chicken wrap left over from a meeting at work. Now, for that nasty little brownie situation. I pulled up my WW e-tools online that I use to track my food points. I had pretty healthy day, and there was some wiggle room. I tracked the brownie, ate the brownie and enjoyed it.
As I walked in the door at home after work, one of my friends text me, saying “congrats on your weight loss.” I was hungry and just wanted to eat, and didn’t care what I ate. I was probably feeling this insane “hunger” because of the sugary brownie messing with my blood sugar. I made a quick pot of chili and starting filling up a monstrous sized bowl. “I don’t care,” I said out loud, “I’m hungry, I’ll eat how much I want” Right in that moment I heard myself. “Of course you care, you even have friends that care” I reminded myself. I put half of the chili back and counted my crackers according to the serving size on the box. I went to my laptop and pulled up my e-tools as I ate, tracking everything. Friday taught me an important lesson. Sometimes, along this journey, I will have moments that I temporarily lose my mind and revert back to old mindsets, but taking just a few seconds to re-assess the situation can make things back the way they should be.
Hey everybody! I’ve been working…hard. We have HUGE trial coming up next month, and it’s grind time. We’re preparing thousands of exhibits and filing endless motions. I worked several 12 hour days back to back. I can hardly tell what day of the week it is. But don’t feel too sorry for me, I get time and half, and that’s a nice treat right before Christmas. Hence my blog post title reference to the Donna Summer’s hit song from the 80s. I’m working hard for the money. But, needless to say, working until midnight doesn’t leave a lot of time for working out, and the gym is usually closed by the time I get home. When I asked my Lawyer Lady on Friday how late I would need to work on Saturday, she only half jokingly responded, “bring a sleeping bag.” Saturday morning before heading in to the law office, I was tired, but recruited my mom to go to the gym with me. No iPod needed, because we just talked the whole time. We talked ourselves though 2 full miles (with an incline) on neighboring treadmills. We had a good time discussing Oprah’s favorite things in the O magazine I brought along.
Since, it will probably be busy like this for the next month or so, I just purchased 2 Leslie Sansone Walk at Home DVD’s. I call her Chatty Cathy, because she talks so much that you forget that you walked 3 miles in front of the TV. One DVD even has a power walk for 5 miles. That way, regardless of how late I get home, I shouldn’t really have an excuse to get off my half marathon training schedule. Well…my house looks like it threw up on itself and my eyes are tired. I just wanted to let you know I was alive and well. And for those who want to know..I’m still chatting it up every day with my special friend, we’re texting now…
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