I Had an Awesome Day!

I must admit, today was a pretty awesome day. Nope, I didn’t win the lottery or meet my future husband but it was quite awesome for a regular rainy Tuesday. I made a Facebook post about how I had planned ahead, by packing my lunch last night so that I would be prepared and not tempted to eat fast food at work today. As I was prepping my salad, my co-workers came running up to me and screamed “STOP!” Confused I replied, “Ummm it’s just a spinach salad.” Then he told me the department attorney was taking us out for Staff Appreciation Day.  I put away my salad and we all went to one of my favorite Mexican restaurants.  I was committed to eating healthy, I did not eat a single tortilla chip. Miraculously, the world did not stop spinning on it’s axis, and I was still able to enjoy everyone’s company.  I ordered a fresh salad topped with tilapia. I was so proud of myself for not letting “free food” derail me from my healthy eating plan. Free food is such a weakness for me, like I’m still a broke college kid excited about a free meal outside of the dining hall.

Later that afternoon, I ate some peanuts before my counseling session to curb my dinner appetite that often temps me to go to the drive thru. I told my counselor that I’m struggling with the idea I should probably never eat sugar again and didn’t want to accept that. She told me to plan a strategic “cheat day” once a week. Of course I’ve thought about a planned cheat day, but I never really implemented it. I might give it a try, everything else she’s suggested has done well and works for me.

I called my Gym Cousin afterwards and told him to meet me at the gym. Of course, he was already planning to go anyway. I got on the elliptical stair climber thingy and climbed for 30 minutes. I remember when I first started going to the gym I couldn’t do it for even five minutes. Unfortunately, it made my feet hurt, and my knees a little sore, so I don’t think I will do it for that long next time. I’ll probably stick to the regular elliptical machine and the treadmill. My cousin arrived just as I finished, and we got on treadmills next to each other. We talked about celebrity gossip and who’s dating who. I was also catching a sneak peek of my gym time guilty pleasure the Kardashians. Some of it is clearly scripted, but it’s so doggone entertaining… I did an easy walk for 30 minutes.  My cousin told me he was “just getting started” and I told him my hour was up, and I was headed home out getting of the rain. Once I got home I had to really give myself a pat on the back. I was able to sync up healthy eating and fitness and caring for my emotional well-being all in one day. It feels great to go to bed in peace knowing I made healthy decisions.

P.S.  I lost 2.8 pounds this week!  Woot-Woot! 16 pounds lost.

Skinny v. Healthy

In the past when you were on a mission to lose weight, what was your motivation? Was it because you wanted to be skinny or because you wanted to be healthy? If I’m being really honest with you guys, I would probably say that 85% of my drive to lose weight is to be skinny. I want to lose weight so that I can look hot, wear stilettos and shop in all the stores in the mall. I don’t want to be the fattest person in the room and I don’t want others to think I’m lazy solely because I’m overweight. It’s a sad fact, but people treat you better when you’re not overweight. I didn’t grow up as an overweight child. And, I’ve lost 50 pounds in 6 months on two separate occasions while trying “get skinny.” These losses have allowed me to experience life not being fat.  However, the motivation to maintain it wears off because I no longer feel miserably fat, just kinda fat.  I start to think, okay now that I’m not morbidly obese and I can shop in the normal size stores, I can relax. Of course being smaller doesn’t make the world perfect, I still had bad days, but in general life is a little easier when you’re thinner.

Yesterday, I was reading a blog post on BGGWL and she said that she didn’t begin to lose weight until after she started focusing on “getting healthy” and not focusing on “losing weight.” Most of the time I couldn’t care less about being healthy and I really just wanted to get skinny. I think it’s the desire to be skinny (not healthy) that pushes people (including yours truly) to drink cayenne pepper lemonade and eat cabbage for 10 days.  The doctor never told me I’m dying or really sick so I felt like I was healthy enough.

So today, I decided to take her advice and focus on being healthy, which of course has obvious desired side effect of losing weight. Attempting to lose weight makes me feel so much pressure because I have so much to lose.  Anytime I make one mistake and eat a doughnut I feel completely derailed and want to give up. On the contrary, I can make healthy choices throughout the day that make me feel successful. I drank a protein shake and ate fruit for breakfast today, and instead of feeling fat when I looked in the mirror, I felt accomplished that I had done something healthy. I ate a healthy lunch and then I put on my coat and gloves and did a brisk walk around the neighborhood for the other half of my lunch break.  When I got winded, I almost told myself “you’re so fat, that’s why you’re out of breath.”  But, I caught myself, why would I beat up on myself right in the midst of doing a healthy activity? Throughout the day, I continued to track my food on Calorie Count.

I shifted my focus from how fat I am, and skinny I want to be, to the healthy choices I was making.  This afternoon I recommended one of my coworkers who’s training for half marathon to lay off the sodas (diet and regular) to help alleviate her knee pain.  She was so grateful for my advice.  I told her that I used to have to wear an Ace bandage type knee brace every time I worked out, but since I cut out the sodas, I don’t need it. So much that I don’t even know where it is anymore. It made me feel good that I could help influence someone else to be healthy too. You can get skinny drinking diet soda (maybe), but nobody claims it’s healthy.

After work I met with my accountant and filed my taxes. I had already made up my mind days before, that I wouldn’t “have time” to work out today. But since I focused on being healthy instead of the overwhelming pressure to be skinny, I could see all the great things I had done today. I got changed and then went to the gym to run at almost 9 o’clock at night.  I called up my Gym Cousin and we ran with my Week 5 podcasts, and I finished almost every interval. When I left the gym I felt great! I didn’t feel “not skinny enough,” or feel like I didn’t burn enough calories to actually lose weight.  I felt satisfied because I was doing healthy activity despite “only” being on Week 5, days before my 5K race.  I felt healthy, and it felt good.  It’s amazing what one little shift in a mindset can do.  And to top it all off I had a nice “side effect” and lost 1.6 pounds for Weigh in Wednesday.

I’m curious to know, what motivates you?

Today

Today I had to remind myself of the old saying “How do you eat an elephant?” The answer, one bite at a time.  It’s possible to do seemingly impossible tasks, if you break it up into smaller increments.

So I decided to focus on today only. Those of you who struggle with weight I think will understand this list.

Today I packed a healthy breakfast for lunch and Today I actually ate the breakfast that I took to work.

Today I fought the craving to go to the local donut shop…And won

Today I wanted to spend money on fast food, but I ate the healthy lunch that I brought instead.

Today I wanted to go to the gas station and grab a sweet snack but I didn’t.

Today I quit being in denial about Slim Fast shakes and accepted that they don’t work for me and they actually make me hungry.

Today I tracked my food and drank lots if water.

Today I was discouraged about not being properly trained for my race but I went to the gym anyway

Today my little sister wanted me to cook her favorite meal since she’s home from college and I didn’t use that as an excuse not to go for a run first.

Today I prayed when I felt weak.

Today I was determined to finish Week 4 of the Couch to 5K.

Today I pushed back the fear of not crossing the finish line and focused on my run.

Today I finished Week 4 and I’m excited about the future!!

What did you do today?

Weight Loss Success!

Man it feels SO good to write a blog post titled Weight Loss Success! I’m only a couple of pounds shy of my January goal, but who cares?! I’ve lost 10 pounds since the beginning of the year, and I’m freaking excited. I’ve been hitting the gym a little harder and hitting the carbs lot less. Some days have been so challenging. Take yesterday for example. The paralegal intern brought her special brownies into work. For eight hours, I had to walk past the kitchen and see them and all their powdered sugar-coated deliciousness. I love brownies, and I’m sure unlimited free brownies taste even better. “You should try one, they’re SOOO good”, one co-worker said. “Did you get one yet, this is my second one” another paralegal said. “I saw them and couldn’t resist” the attorney told me. “No, I haven’t had one” I said shamefacedly. Then that afternoon the intern came to me directly, looking hurt that I hadn’t tried one her special homemade brownies. “I’m watching my sugar, sorry” I told her. I felt kind of bad.

But, I’ve been reading and studying food addicts like me who lost tons of weight and kept it off. I like to follow people like Roni, The Anti-Jared on Facebook and Erica from BGGWL. One thing I noticed is that they are unapologetic for their choices that work for them. If it’s eating the same routine boring food, eating clean, tracking every bite, or no fast food, whatever, they do not apologize for what works for them personally. If I’m going to stick to this, I have to become confident and unapologetic about making healthy choices that work for me. None of those brownie pushers had more than 100 pounds to lose, but I do. And if that means I have to be the weird chick who said “no thanks,” so be it! Although my week had ups and downs (like the retirement party and Steak and Shake one day), ultimately my good choices won on the scale this morning. I lost .4, which brought my four-week total to 10 pounds. Yay Me!

My 31st Birthday Awesomeness

Last night around midnight, my Special Friend sang Happy Birthday to me.  I don’t think he’s ready for American Idol; but it really made me smile that he wanted to be the first to wish me Happy Birthday.  Then he told me “It’s not the only thing I’m going to be first for” …hmmmm…. what does that mean??? A little while later, my Big Little Sister called and sang around 12:30, because she knows I rarely go to bed before the clock switches over to AM.

Although all the Facebook dings and birthday text messages on my cell phone woke me up way before the alarm clock went off this morning, my day started off with a blast!  Nyah was patiently waiting on the porch to come back inside after going potty. For like the 1^st time ever, I didn’t have to chase her around the yard in my dress clothes to get her back in the house.  I thought something was wrong with her.  I actually grabbed her cute furry little face and asked “are you alright?” LOL.  She was just fine, I guess she knew it was my special day and already too hot outside to chase her.  Then on the way work, I was singing all loud and off-key, as part of my morning routine, and for the first time in months there was no construction on the highway! I breezed on into work with no traffic.  While I was eating my 7 point Weight Watcher pancake and turkey sausage breakfast, my niece called to wish me a happy birthday.  That warmed my heart.  I told her she was invited to my party, and she was super excited about birthday cake.  My lawyer boss dude left early, so it was super easy work day.  After lunch the HR guy ordered desserts in my honor, and one co-worker even sang!  They closed the office 30 minutes early and took me out for happy hour.   I love this place.

I went home and put on my cute birthday dress and sexy shoes.

We had dinner at Ginger Bistro, an Asian Fusion restaurant.  Everybody came out for my special day.  My Mom, Dad, Sisters, niece, BFF, my lawyer friends, my travel friend, my childhood friend, my gym cousin….everybody!  There were 14 of us.  The service was a little slow, but the food was good.  They had these fantastic little cheesy crab rangoon appetizers.   Then my Big Little Sister who’s only 4 years younger than me, did a whole birthday gift presentation.  She said that because she missed my big 30^th b-day bash in Vegas last year, she was making up for lost time.  She got the best most hilarious gag gift.  She got me, diapers, Ben-gay, Aleve for arthritis, Icy-hot, reading glasses, wrinkle cream and an old people reacher stick thingy.  It was so funny! 

Thank God she gave me the receipt and I can take all that mess back to Walgreens.  LOL!  My niece gave me a card with a dollar and I got all kinds of other great gifts.  I have the best friends and family.  Thank y’all too my internet family, for all the birthday love on my Facebook Page. MUAH! I went home, took off those shoes, talked to my Special Friend who was at work, and went to bed like a respectable old lady!

*Rest in Peace, Whitney Houston my B-day twin!*