5 Weight Loss Lessons I Forgot

1. Soda pop aka Liquid Satan is bad! (see the video) I’ve drastically limited my soda intake for the past few years, only having it on rare occasions.  But, at my new job, they have free cans of soda in the fridge.  What could one soda at lunch hurt? It’s okay to have a caffeine pick me up during the 3 o’clock slump right? I’m not addicted, I just like it right? WRONG! It does hurt my body, my face started to break out and my knees started back hurting.  And, yes I did get re-addicted to caffeine. But, the lesson I forgot is that I can break the caffeine soda addiction.  It might be an uncomfortable addiction to break, and it will take a few weeks, but it’s possible. I will cut out soda again.
2. Cookies are bad for me.  I have no control over them. I can never eat just a small amount, I will always want more. There is no other food that causes me to eat so insanely, during and after the sugar rush.  But, the lesson I forgot, is that God helps with even the smallest prayers, like “God help me be strong and eliminate cookies from my diet.” I am strong enough to say NO to free cookies, and I’m strong enough to throw them away. I’ve done it before, I can do it again.
3. Years ago, I lost 50 pound in 6 months with the Weight  Watchers program.  Track your food, go to meetings, and get active. It’s not rocket science The lesson I forgot is that, If I’ve done it before, I can do that again too.

4. Running while being overweight is hard, and it forces you to dig deep and discover a strength that you didn’t know you had.  I’m a big girl, and that didn’t stop me from running several 5K’s and it didn’t stop me from walking 13 miles under the blazing sun. The Lesson I forgot is,  like my fellow juicy girl Tammy says, I might be slow, but I can run races just like everybody else.

5. The last lesson I forgot is that sometimes looking back at your own past success can be more inspiring than anything else.

Missed Weigh-In

Last week was really tough for me emotionally. Leaving a job is hard, even if you’re ready to go. The partner at the firm never directly acknowledged that I was leaving, he just gave me massive projects with fast deadlines. One of my co-workers looked like she wanted to cry on my last day. And, during my wrap-up meeting with the Human Resources lady, she gave me a hug! That is the last person in the world, I thought I would hug. On top of all of that, I had the anxiety of starting a new job. Will I be good enough, will I know enough, what if they don‘t like me? Somehow I managed to revert back to old ways and feed all those happy/confused emotions with snicker doodle cookies and ice cream.

My lawyer friend had a get-together Saturday night, and I ate countless appetizers and homemade pound cake with ice-cream. I even brought pound cake home with me. I’m surprised I didn’t go back to my ultimate food high, a honey bun and a Mountain Dew. Unlike the Texas trip where I consciously ate unhealthy foods, this time I felt out of control. But, the weird part was the food didn’t taste as good. You know that mmmmm melt in your mouth feeling when you eat delicious calorie laden sugary food? It wasn’t there, it wasn’t the same. That was strange. I took the cookies to my parent’s house to get them away from me and took the pound cake to my sister. I cooked a couple meals for dinner during the week to avoid the fast food trap.

I was so scared about weighing in because I wasn’t emotionally prepared to see the scale go up again, knowing that I lost control for a few days. I didn’t want to let myself continue in a downward spiral. I didn’t take a break between jobs and I was scheduled to start my new job at noon on Monday. I ran some quick real estate errands and went to the gym. I hadn’t been to the gym in forever, I wasn’t even sure if I could still do the elliptical machine. Much to my surprise, it wasn’t as bad as I thought. It wasn’t hard at all really. I pedaled fast and hard towards the end of my 30 minute routine. When I had about five more minutes left, my Little sister walked in. We were both shocked to see each other. Why didn’t you tell me you were coming we asked each other? I forgot she was out of school for President’s Day, and she assumed I was at work. It would have been a lot less boring to have someone to chat with, but I’m glad that we both had enough motivation to go alone.

When I got to my new job, they treated me to lunch and introduced me to my team. Everything is structured and organized, the way a law firm should be. The office building consists of three converted historic townhomes, so my office has a fireplace and sliding pocket doors. It’s so cozy. It’s really easy to veer off the food plan, and hard to get back on. But, slowly but surely I’m getting back to regular tracking and away from insane eating. Just this weekend I discovered that the Weight Watcher e-tools are available on my Blackberry. All of this time, I thought I had to have an android phone to get the app. I could smack myself upside the head for not knowing that. After my 1st day of work, I went to the store, and got lost. I had to go home and let Nyah out, and the WW meeting would have been over by time I got there. I was so upset that I missed that accountability, but also relived that I didn’t risk allowing the scale to stress me out. I’m still working on detaching my emotions from the scale. The good news is that I have been tracking my points again, and the scale at home shows weight loss. My Sister told me that, God grants and new mercy every day, and I say every morning WW gives me fresh new points to use. Even if I fall off the wagon, I can climb back on.

Sometimes I Lose My Mind

I’ve been doing a really great job staying on the weight watchers plan for the last month. It’s really a mind over matter thing, but sometimes I lose my mind and forget I’m on plan. On Friday afternoon they sent out one of those dreaded food emails, detailing whatever free treats are in the office kitchen. This particular day it was chicken wraps. How bad could a chicken wrap be? It could be my afternoon snack. I hurried over to the kitchen eager to get one before they were gone, completely ignoring the fact that I wasn’t really even hungry. They looked good, so I got two. Prize in hand on the way back to my desk I saw the left over brownies from the same meeting at another secretary’s desk. Yummy free brownies, how dare she not include that in that in the email? Free dessert always tastes better. I got two brownies as well. Then it hit me as I looked down at the two handfuls of food hidden in the paper towel, so no one would see how much I really got. I’m a weight watcher now, trying to get healthy, I don’t eat like this anymore. I no longer hide food and mindlessly eat because it’s free or because it tastes good. I put one of the brownies back.

When I got back to my desk I started eating the chicken wrap which was very difficult with my new braces on my teeth. I threw the other wrap in the trash. But there, are starving kids in Africa, that’s wasteful right? Well, I’ll say a prayer for them and release the guilt of throwing away food. Well maybe I can take it home and give it somebody I thought. But in reality, my family would look at me like I was crazy if I brought over a half of a chicken wrap left over from a meeting at work. Now, for that nasty little brownie situation. I pulled up my WW e-tools online that I use to track my food points. I had pretty healthy day, and there was some wiggle room. I tracked the brownie, ate the brownie and enjoyed it.

As I walked in the door at home after work, one of my friends text me, saying “congrats on your weight loss.” I was hungry and just wanted to eat, and didn’t care what I ate. I was probably feeling this insane “hunger” because of the sugary brownie messing with my blood sugar. I made a quick pot of chili and starting filling up a monstrous sized bowl. “I don’t care,” I said out loud, “I’m hungry, I’ll eat how much I want” Right in that moment I heard myself. “Of course you care, you even have friends that care” I reminded myself. I put half of the chili back and counted my crackers according to the serving size on the box. I went to my laptop and pulled up my e-tools as I ate, tracking everything. Friday taught me an important lesson. Sometimes, along this journey, I will have moments that I temporarily lose my mind and revert back to old mindsets, but taking just a few seconds to re-assess the situation can make things back the way they should be.

Weight Watchers 2012

When I did an analysis of my proven successful weight loss habits, I accepted the importance of tracking and having weekly accountability and support system. But, more importantly, I’m learning the importance of the internal behaviors that must change to be successful. I’ve shifted my focus from “trying to look good” to striving towards mental and physical health. For the past few days, I’ve been working really hard to stop saying bad things like (I’m fat and gross, I’ll never lose weight, and it’s too hard.) Because I told myself all of those things every day, they became reality. So, I’ve adopted a new positive mantra. I was watching Joel Osteen, and praying that God gave me a good word of encouragement to show me I’m on the right track. And, what do you know, Joel told the story about a guy who lost over 100 pounds, and started by changing his words. I’ve tweaked it a little for me, but each morning and all throughout the day, I remind myself, regardless of how I really feel…

“I weigh what I should weigh, I’m active, I’m healthy, I’m dedicated, I’m focused and I have what it takes.”

After a few days of positive self-talk and acceptance, I felt better, and I had the courage to go back to Weight Watchers. As soon as I walked in, the meeting leader greeted me with a big “Welcome Back!” and told me that she didn’t close out my file. It was like she knew I’d be back. There was no judgment as I stepped on the scale 15 pounds heavier than I was last time. I explained to her my apparent denial of where I know I’m supposed to be. When I text my Mom and told her I was at the meeting, she was happy and said she would cook healthy meals if I gave her some recipes. It was sad though that one lady was too heavy for the scale. She was probably over 400 pounds. But, they treated her with the utmost respect and discretion (I’m just nosey and was sitting in the back near the scales.) I really hope to see her back next week, and it actually encouraged me to see that if she was brave enough to come to a meeting I had no excuses. The meeting was great. In the new 2012 program they are putting more of a focus on mental and emotional health needed to successfully lose weight. Their new slogan is “Believe.” I’m on my third day of tracking my food, and tracking is actually making me feel good and in control, and not like cruel and unusual punishment. On my home, I thought I’m so pumped, I’ll lose 100 pounds this year. Then I had to make a conscious effort to scale it back and redirect my focus.

“I weigh what I should weigh, I’m active, I’m healthy, I’m dedicated, I’m focused and I have what it takes…..” What’s your personal slogan?

P.S. my huge court trial at work got canceled! Bad for our clients and the firm, but great for my blog and fitness routine. Back to life as normal.

Accepting the Things I Can Not Change

I have learned in life that often times our greatest strength can also be a debilitating weakness. In my life being stubborn and strong headed has gotten me to great places that defy statistics. However, on the other hand being too stubborn has caused a lot of trouble. For example, I’m repeatedly too stubborn to face the music and accept the fact that I need help and I can’t do everything alone. It seems silly to me that I need a meal plan or a fitness routine to maintain a healthy life. But, fortunately I’m learning to get out of my own way and accept the things I cannot change. I did not work out all week. I felt so tired and honestly couldn’t figure out why. Duh! *smack on the forehead* My body is not used to being so sedentary. So, I’m accepting the fact that I need some sort of program to stay on track with my workout regimen. I thought after countless races, and regularly working out for years, that I could motivate myself to work out on my own. But, I can’t, so I signed up for the Halloween 10k (6.2 Mile) race in October. Training officially starts this week. I will do my best to keep my training schedule updated and posted for you to see. I did a little laundry this morning and got my best work out buddy ready to go to the Park. It was a beautiful day, low 80s and not too much humidity. I picked a really scenic area of the park to walk. Nyah and I walked circles around the water basin with couples in love sharing paddle boats and families on picnics. It made me think of having my own family one day. I’m not in a real rush, but since I turned 30 I guess I realized that the clock is starting to tick. I’m not in a big hurry to have children, but I don’t really want to be 50 with the 10-year-old either. In between laps around the water basin we walked up the giant Hill and jogged back down while listening to my Michael Jackson mix on my iPod. It was a very leisure walk, and I took time to enjoy myself. It felt so good to be moving again. I felt refreshed instead of tired. Even though it had only been a week I realized how much fitness really is a part of my life. And, I realized how much it is actually a part of my lifestyle, and that made me smile. After about 50 minutes of walking around and up and down the hill we were finished. I went to the nail shop after I got home and showered. My Nail Tech Lee, that helped me catch the purse thief is still at home in Vietnam, so a new lady helped me. She did pretty good, so I can’t complain too much. Afterwards I had an awesome dinner with two of my friends, and then we went to see the movie “The Help.” It was so good, it took us on journey through Jim Crow Mississippi from the black maid’s untold perspective. I think it did an amazing job of depicting America during the civil rights era and provided a stark contrast to the world we live in today where I can causually sit in a movie theater next to a White couple with a Black president running the country.   We’ve come a long way baby!