Carli's Latest Blog Entry
This weekend was jam-packed! On Thursday evening, my little sister graduated from High School. She graduated with honors and made us all so proud.
The Graduate with her sisters
The Graduate and her parents
On Friday night I went out with my friend to a new bistro called “Desserts on the Boulevard.” To my surprise I didn’t have any dessert, just enjoyed the live music with my friends. I just realized that I haven’t given you guys an update on The Gentlemen, the guy I’m dating. We had our 3rd date. He lives about an hour away, so he drove to St. Louis and we spent the day together. We shopped at the farmer’s market and I loaded up on fresh fruits and veggies. Then I gave him a tour of St. Louis. We went downtown near Busch Stadium where the Cardinals play baseball, then we went to Forest Park, drove through the Central West End and lastly we went to the U City Loop. I was supposed to cook dinner, but we were both pretty tired after the tour of the town. He said I didn’t “have” to cook and we went to the Golden Corral restaurant instead. Later, one of my guy friends told me I failed the test, and that the gentleman was just trying to see if I really wanted to cook for him. Well, I flunked with flying colors, if you tell me I don’t have to do something that I really don’t want to do anyway, you should know I’m probably not going to do it. After the date, we watched TV for a little while and then he went back home. When I asked him what he thought about our day, he said “not bad.” Not bad??!! But the ironic part is that I felt the same way. I was so excited about him because he’s an engineer, with no kids and goals for the future. But we just don’t have much in common beyond that. I was hoping to find that spark while we spent the day together, but while we were at dinner, all I could think about what was, what’s going to happen next in my Hunger Games
book. *Sigh* We’ve talked on the phone once since then, and briefly mentioned a 4th date. My friends said give him time to warm up, I’m definitely not opposed to it, so we will see what’s next….
Anyway, back to my weekend. My niece turned 4, can you believe it? It seems like just the other day, she had us all stressed out and living at the hospital when she was born nearly 4 months early, weighing less than 2 pounds.
But she is a survivor and she loves horses. My sister had a horse and a pony come to the house. All the little kids had a blast.
That evening, my old co-worker friend was in town and we did our favorite past time and went to the movies to see “The Avengers.” It was fun to see all the characters in one movie. Sunday morning I got up and went church. I’m not sure if I told you guys or not, but I feel like I’ve outgrown my family church. Each week, for the past couple of months I’ve visited a new church. It’s so nice to expand my definition of “church.” After service my sister had a graduation dinner party. It was decorated so cute! She had an after-party for her friends, even though I’m “old” I was invited. But, because I’m old, I was exhausted from the party filled weekend and I went home and fell asleep on the couch.
Graduation party with her friend
I just finished Jennifer Hudson’s new book I Got This: How I Changed My Ways and Lost What Weighed Me Down. I’m a fan of Jennifer Hudson. I have both of her albums and couldn’t wait to get her new book. I’m totally inspired by her 80 pound weight loss with Weight Watchers. I love that she’s a positive Black role model. But, I kind of have mixed feelings about her book. I read a review on Amazon.com that said that reading the book was like reading her Wikipedia entry, and it was! I hate to say it, but the book almost seems sugar-coated.
I was completely outraged that she did not even mention the horrible murder of her mother, brother and nephew by her sister’s estranged husband. You better believe if my sister’s estranged husband killed my Mama, my other sister and my niece, y’all are going to hear about it. Jennifer simply said, “my Superbowl performance was my first public appearance after my family tragedy” Really JHud? Some readers may not even know what her “family tragedy” was. I’ve never lost people that close to me, so I can’t image how difficult it would be to discuss it, but I would have loved to hear how she was able to overcome such extreme adversity and still remain a positive happy well-balanced person. A part of me wonders if her “brushing over it” is how she coped….Okay, I’ll leave it alone…but that was just not what I expected.
Then she had a whole section on the biomechanics of Weight Watchers and a bunch of statistics. I realize that when the program is great you almost become a spokesperson (as I have) because you’re proud of the way it helped change your life. But, some parts were a little too “Team Weight Watchers.” Okay, enough of the negative, but I had to keep it real.
Finally, her personality started to show in the book. She was raised that curves on a woman were a good thing, and she “never felt self-conscious.” I can believe that, a lot of times in the black community, guys like a “thick” girl. A little extra weight is a bonus. When I picture myself at my goal weight, I’m a size 8 or 10. I have no desire to be a size 2 or 4.
It was interesting to learn that Jennifer was not an emotional eater. She literally didn’t know what healthy food was and how to eat healthy portion sizes. She lost weight solely for health reasons, not because of how she looked. She was also inspired by the birth of her son and a career field that thrives on image. That was an interesting perspective.
She mentioned some good food ideas I can’t wait to try like apples and cashews that taste like a caramel apple and how cinnamon on salmon with lemon is delicious. She even included a few recipes at the end.
Her WW leader Liz gave her great insight on being active, she told her don’t do exercise that you don’t like and have as many options as possible. She also reminded her that every day is a chance to start over. Since Jennifer lost weight, she inspired many of her family members to join WW and they have lost over 2,000 pounds. I would have to say that my favorite part of the book was near the end. Unlike her easy breezy “track and lose weight” she discussed her struggles with life after losing such a drastic amount of weight and how it changed her image. She discussed how at one point while filming Winnie, she feared she was too thin, and how some fans rejected her instead of supporting her new found health and body. She also explained how she embraces her extra skin and stretch marks as battle scars to show how far she’s come. I’m long way from taking pride in my stretch marks, but it was refreshing to see how to overcome it once you are on the maintenance side of losing.
Overall, I give the book 3 out of 5 stars. I love that she explains the importance of family and how the strength and lessons of her deceased grandmother pulled her through difficult times. I’m so happy that she found her calling through singing and inspiring, and I believe that she’s right where God wants her to be.
I have learned in life that often times our greatest strength can also be a debilitating weakness. In my life being stubborn and strong headed has gotten me to great places that defy statistics. However, on the other hand being too stubborn has caused a lot of trouble. For example, I’m repeatedly too stubborn to face the music and accept the fact that I need help and I can’t do everything alone. It seems silly to me that I need a meal plan or a fitness routine to maintain a healthy life. But, fortunately I’m learning to get out of my own way and accept the things I cannot change. I did not work out all week. I felt so tired and honestly couldn’t figure out why. Duh! *smack on the forehead* My body is not used to being so sedentary. So, I’m accepting the fact that I need some sort of program to stay on track with my workout regimen. I thought after countless races, and regularly working out for years, that I could motivate myself to work out on my own. But, I can’t, so I signed up for the Halloween 10k (6.2 Mile) race in October. Training officially starts this week. I will do my best to keep my training schedule updated and posted for you to see. I did a little laundry this morning and got my best work out buddy ready to go to the Park. It was a beautiful day, low 80s and not too much humidity. I picked a really scenic area of the park to walk. Nyah and I walked circles around the water basin with couples in love sharing paddle boats and families on picnics. It made me think of having my own family one day. I’m not in a real rush, but since I turned 30 I guess I realized that the clock is starting to tick. I’m not in a big hurry to have children, but I don’t really want to be 50 with the 10-year-old either. In between laps around the water basin we walked up the giant Hill and jogged back down while listening to my Michael Jackson mix on my iPod. It was a very leisure walk, and I took time to enjoy myself. It felt so good to be moving again. I felt refreshed instead of tired. Even though it had only been a week I realized how much fitness really is a part of my life. And, I realized how much it is actually a part of my lifestyle, and that made me smile. After about 50 minutes of walking around and up and down the hill we were finished. I went to the nail shop after I got home and showered. My Nail Tech Lee, that helped me catch the purse thief is still at home in Vietnam, so a new lady helped me. She did pretty good, so I can’t complain too much. Afterwards I had an awesome dinner with two of my friends, and then we went to see the movie “The Help
.” It was so good, it took us on journey through Jim Crow Mississippi from the black maid’s untold perspective. I think it did an amazing job of depicting America during the civil rights era and provided a stark contrast to the world we live in today where I can causually sit in a movie theater next to a White couple with a Black president running the country. We’ve come a long way baby!
For years I have admired Roni for only drinking water…I mean who does that??? How do you do that?… Just over a year ago I decided to stop drinking soda after reading the book “Skinny Bitch.” They made it sound so awful calling soda liquid Satan. I felt like I owed it to my body not to drink it. I remember how hard it was to stop and how surprised I was that I was actually addicted to the caffeine. But eventually, it became habit and now I can easily say “I don’t drink soda.” The best thing about no longer drinking liquid Satan is my knee. I always used to complain about my bad knee and had to wear a knee brace almost every time I worked out. Now I rarely use it, because my knee and ankle just don’t hurt like they used to. I put on the knee brace before my half-marathon “just in case” and took it off during the race, because I simply didn’t need it. The point of all this blabbing is that I saw enough positive results to make me not want to go back to drinking soda. Which bring me to my most recent decision… I’ve decided to only drink water, all day every day, with the exception of the occasional adult cocktail. Of course if I’m sick, I’ll drink some orange juice or tea and an energy drink if I’m exhausted. But, generally about 90% of the time I’m drinking water. This is my 4th day of water only. I think these annoying little pimples on my face are clearing up already. Unlike Meatless Monday, that lasted for about 2 weeks; I’m pretty sure I can stick to this. I’m good at eliminating unhealthy foods and drinks when I really want to. I stopped eating pork a few years ago and I have never turned back. After about the 3rd day of being pork-free I felt great. Now, without hesistation I can easily tell anybody “I don’t eat bacon, sausage, ham, pork chops, pepperoni etc.” Hopefully, instead of having juice with breakfast or high fructose corn syrup lemonade with lunch, I can save the calories and just drink water. So, I’m making the declaration and taking the plunge, by saying “I would like a water please.”
Apparently, I have inspired my maintenance guy who is nearly old enough to be my dad, to stop drinking and complete a half marathon. So, he wanted to go and workout with me today. That seemed kind of strange, but I can’t say no to anyone that wants to go and workout with me. It was a perfect day outside, sunny low 70′s with a cool breeze. I told him that I would take him to the pretty part of the Park near the fountain and Art Hill. He walked Nyah while I ran to Week 2 of my couch to 5K podcasts. After the third 90 second run interval, my podcast was starting to feel like cruel and unusual punishment. My calves really burned even though they looked so good as I ran. A few minutes later I heard my own voice say it was time for the last run. I was so excited to finish, knowing that even though the distance gets longer, running gets easier as the weeks progress. In addition to running a 10k this summer, I plan on running (jogging) the St. Louis Rock ‘n Roll half marathon in October. I used my Team in Training calendar to make up a new training schedule. I’m going to complete the Couch to 5K and then the Bridge to 10K and then continue with the half marathon training up until October.
I remember years ago, I worked with a receptionist who told me you almost have to be “obsessed with losing weight” to be successful. At the time I thought she was being a little extreme, but in hindsight, I almost have to agree with her. I don’t mean obsessed in a bad way like my ex-boyfriend who is obsessed with me and hides in my bushes, but obsessed in a more productive manner. If you have a serious weight problem and an unhealthy relationship with food, like I do; you do have to become sort of obsessed with losing weight. You constantly have to find new ways to stay on track, write down EVERYthing you put in your mouth, and consciously make an effort to put healthy eating above daily mood swings and life changes. Regardless of all the things going on around you, you constantly have to be mindful of the fact that you are making healthy lifestyle choices in an effort to lose weight. I know I make it sound like a daunting task…but really it is. However, if you are lucky, you are far enough in your process, that you acknowledge the fact that although it is a daunting task, it’s possible, and you don’t have to figure it out on your own. For me, there are motivational books, blogs, prayer and of course the Weight Watchers program to help me through my journey. Sometimes I’m in denial and think I don’t need all of that stuff. I tell myself I know Broccoli=Good and French Fry = Bad. But for severely overweight people is goes a little deeper than that. I’m finally getting to the point that I’m okay with that. So does this mean that I’ve found the golden key, and the weight will miraculously begin to melt off? Not necessarily, but I do feel like I getting to a new level in my journey.
I saw my arch nemesis, soft chocolate chip cookies in the kitchen at work today, and I walked right past them. When I walked past again, they were out of the box, and seemingly on display. Did I want some? Sure, but did I feel this compelling force inside that made me feel like I had to have them and that I “deserved a treat.” Nope! It felt really good to be in that place. Just like last night, about midnight, I felt like I wanted “something” to eat. I had already used my daily WW points and I wasn’t truly hungry anyway. I drank some water and went to bed. It’s the little successes like this that I’m beginning to appreciate because eventually all of these seemingly small victories will turn into a huge reward. So as Marianne said in her book, I may not be thin yet and I may not see progress on the scale just yet, but I can take comfort that I am finally at “the end of the beginning.”
