For some strange reason I had the urge to try the INSANITY DVD Workout. You know, the one from that late night infomercial. I wanted to do something other than run on treadmill at the gym. I didn’t want to wait for the commercial to come on, so I went to one of my favorite shopping websites, Craigslist. Craigslist gets such a bad rap in the media, but I’ve done at least 50 transactions through the site without being prison-shanked or robbed.  Heck I even got my last job at the law firm from Craigslist.  Just be smart about it.  I always meet at a public place during the day and usually take someone with me. I’ve bought and sold everything from my old Coach purses, refrigerators, lawn mowers, cell phones, and yesterday I bought the INSANITY DVD Workout with sexy Shaun T.

The guy who sold it to me said he threw his back out for a month and a fitness buff I met said he puked after 5 minutes. But, I was still motivated by the claims that you can burn up to 1000 calories in one session. My little Craigslist guy with no teeth even gave me the Welcome packet and the Nutrition Guide.  The welcome materials said to wear a heart rate monitor, even though in the past I never had much interest in one. I decided to take them up on their recommendation, because I was curious to see exactly how many calories I burned and I wanted to make sure I didn’t over exert myself. I bought the Polar FT4F heart rate monitor. I’ll do a review on it soon.

I strapped on my heart rate monitor and moved my living room table to watch the intro.  Then I did the Fit Test. It was INSANE.  They call it Insanity for a reason.  This is NOT for beginners.  I was so glad that I only had on a sports bra and shorts, because anything else would have made me feel too hot.  The trainer guy instructs you to do 8 different exercises.  He’s really good, he coaches you constantly, and gives lots of encouragement.  He’s tough enough, but not mean.  The fact that Shaun T. has an amazing body, is reason enough to keep moving.  I heard he’s gay, but who cares? He’s still fun to look at!

I had to do switch kicks, power jumping jacks, power knees, power jumps, globe jumps, suicide jumps, push up jacks, and lastly low plank obliques.  Whew.  Some of the stuff, like push up jacks, seemed impossible.  How in the heck do you do a push up and then pop your feet out like a jumping jack?!  I tried it, and was able to do 13 of them.  They weren’t pretty, but I certainly did a variation of what he was doing.  After those, I literally collapsed on my back on the floor. I soon felt that, OMG I might puke feeling.  My sweaty back was sticking to my leopard print rug.  I’m such a girly girl, I rarely lay out on the floor.  But after that routine, I was sprawled out on the floor.  The neighbors in the apartment downstairs probably wondered what in the heck was going on above their heads.  Shaun T, gave just enough rest period before the Low Plank Obliques. I dragged myself through those, and finally it was over!  I felt like a champion! I made it through the WHOLE Fit Test.  Even though I like to eat, I shows that my body is kinda in shape.  They said if you can’t do the Fit Test, you probably shouldn’t do the next step, so I was glad I was able to finish.  When it was all over, I continued to sweat for like 10 or 15 minutes.  It almost scared me, like I was sitting still, yet I continued to sweat? Wow, what kind of work out was that?

The next day, some muscles hurt that I didn’t know I had.  Like under my arm.  Well not really under my arm, but that little chunk of meat above your bra that’s not quite your back, and not quite your underarm? That was sore.  I didn’t even know that was a muscle.  And a weird back muscle I’d forgotten existed started fussing at me when I bent over to pick up an ink pen.  But overall, I was still able to walk, and just a little sore, not actually in pain, so I’m determined to continue!  I’ll keep you guys posted.  Have any of you tried Insanity? Did you survive?

Do you feel guilty when you eat a certain food? Do you feel guilty after you’ve eaten a third helping? I thought the answer to this question was pretty simple. Of course I feel guilty if I eat eight Golden Oreos, of course I feel guilty after I’ve rushed to the Donut Shop on my lunch break to grab one (or two) before they close.

My Little Sister is back home from college for the summer and she had a lot to say about the topic of food guilt. We couldn’t wait to hang out together.  I had a good time hanging out with my Mom, my friends and even my crazy god-brother while she was gone. When I needed my car tire repaired because it had a nail in it, my brother took me to a tire repair shop in the ‘hood for a good cheap deal.  Some guy named Uncle Dawg was smoking “something” while they repaired my truck tire for $5 dollars.  $5 dollars?! I’d say that was a good deal indeed. LOL!

But anyway, I was glad to have my little sister back in town.   She came over my house yesterday and we started talking about the record-breaking heat and how good ice cream would be to cool down.   I said “you know it’s all good when you eat it, until the guilt sets in later.”  “What guilt are you talking about?” she asked confused.  I said “you know, the guilty food cycle where you eat some naughty food, it tastes really good going down, you get a sugar high, and then you feel bad because you know that it was bad for you. And then because you feel bad, you eat ice cream to feel better…rinse and repeat.” She thought that I was totally nuts.  I said “are you serious that you can eat ice cream and feel completely guilt free?” And she replied “Yes of course, I love ice cream and when I eat it I’m happy and I don’t feel bad about it.”  And of course I instantly thought, if you don’t feel bad about it and you’re totally happy eating ice cream, won’t you just get fatter??? And then my next thought was about all the times I felt bad about eating Dulce De Leche Haagen-Dazs or chocolate chip cookies, and how that guilt never lead to positive behavior modification AND I still gained weight.  Feeling awful about eating the tasty calorie laden sugary treats has really only made the situation worse.

My sis was in complete awe that I felt bad about eating certain foods. Heck sometimes I feel bad about eating in general.  It was such a difficult concept for her to even wrap her mind around. So, on our way to FroYo, a frozen yogurt ice cream shop in the University City Loop, we continued our conversation.   She begged for me to explain how you can eat something that you really want, enjoy it, and then feel incredibly bad about it. I told her that I had done it for so long that it just seemed common place and I thought that people always felt bad when they unhealthy food.   I said “you never feel bad?”  She explained that one time she had hit the campus gym for like an hour and a half and then ate five pieces of pizza because she was really hungry and she felt kind of bad about that for a few minutes, but that was all. In general, she doesn’t feel guilty for eating unhealthy food. As we had our conversation I realized how guilt is such a self-inflicted emotion. My Sis pretty much looked at me like I was crazy, and I felt crazy. I remember watching an episode of Iyanla Vansant on Oprah where they talked about people who carry around immense feelings of guilt from things they’d done to people in the past. I thought those women were kind of coo-coo to inflict such a negative emotion on themselves about situations that were long gone and presumably forgotten about. Yet unbeknownst to me, I was doing the exact same thing with food… feeling bad almost the second after eating it and still regretting it the next day .  I wondered had I always felt like this?  No, actually I haven’t. I can remember in college when was in Weight Watchers and would sometimes overeat in the dining hall. You know, that third go-round at the lunch buffet that totals 2 days worth of Points?  But I didn’t feel guilty.  My reaction to my undesired behavior was not guilt at all. I would simply brush it off and say “okay I just have to go to an extra step aerobics class today, instead of my normal three days at the gym.”  And that’s just what I did. I maintained my 50 pound weight loss for nearly 2 years with that same philosophy.  I didn’t put pressure on myself to eat perfectly according to plan, and I easily forgave myself when I didn’t.

As I prepared my bowl of fat-free frozen yogurt my sister looked at me and said “we’re here now, no guilt!”  It felt so strange to intentionally not feel bad about enjoying a small bowl of ice cream with my sister on a hot and muggy May night. Not long after we walked in, my Gym Cousin rang my cell phone. He had seen me and my sister crossing the street. Of course strong feelings of guilt popped up because I knew that he was leaving from our gym down the street and here I was being fat. “Where are y’all going?” he asked me. “To eat ice cream” I said in shame.” “Oh!” He replied “I’ll join you guys.”

Me and my Gym Cousin talk about everything so I told my Little Sister, “Hey let’s ask him how he feels about food guilt, and you’ll see, I’m normal.”  So we all sat down with our frozen yogurt, topped with everything including strawberries, cheesecake bites and brownie pieces.  She gave me that “you better not feel bad about this” look out of the corner of her eye again.

I asked my Gym Cousin, and he said, “Nope, I don’t feel bad, I’m enjoying it.”  “Sometimes I feel mad when I have to work that much harder in the gym, so I don’t gain weight, but not any real guilt.” … “Told ya!” my sister said confidently.  That’s when I realized, I’ve got some work to do.  It kind of all goes back to what my counselor said.  Much of my relationship with food and my perception of the role my weight plays in my life is purely stuff I’ve conjured up in my head on my quest to be perfect.  So, last night I ate the ice cream, I didn’t feel guilty. And I don’t feel guilty today. I had a protein shake for breakfast, and I’m planning a healthy lunch.  And, I feel OKAY about it. Feeling guilty after the fact has NEVER motivated me to better.  Guilt is kind of a wasted emotion, especially if you’re talking about food you ate days ago.  Do you feel food guilt? How do you feel when you stray away from your food plan?  What advice do you have?

I took a screen shot from my phone of the “recipe” that someone posted on Facebook. It wasn’t a real recipe, just listed the ingredients, so I wasn’t really sure if I was making cookies or muffins, until they were done. I put them in greased muffin pans since it was slightly too liquidy to be cookies.

Ingredients:
3 mashed ripe bananas
1/3 cup apple sauce
2 cups oats
1/4 cup almond milk
1/2 cup raisins (optional)
1/2 tsp vanilla
1 tsp cinnamon

Directions:
1) Mash very ripe bananas.
2) Add apple sauce
3) Stir in 2 cups of oats
4) Add milk, raisins, vanilla and cinnamon
5) Bake at 350 F for 15-20 minutes

Makes: 18 small muffins

My Notes: I should have let my bananas get a little more ripe, they weren’t really sweet enough yet. I used no sugar added applesauce. But, I like sweet stuff, so next time, I’ll probably use sweetened apple sauce. I used golden raisins because that what I had in my pantry. They were very filling, guilt-free and approved by Mom, she thought they were great. I’m taking them for breakfast tomorrow. Enjoy!

I recently watched a documentary about the food industry called Hungry for Change. If you’re interested in watching it after reading this post, you can buy it on Amazon, or watch it on Netflix. Here’s a clip from You Tube. I wanted to share some of the interesting points that I learned while watching.

Early in the movie, they state that about one-third of American women are “on a diet.” They further claim that this is because we aren’t eating food, but instead eating food-like products. They said sugar is the cocaine of the food world. Sometimes I’m leery when I hear such a bold statements and I roll my eyes and think “not another sugar-hating campaign.” I like sugar, it tastes good. But I continued to watch anyway because I once had a teacher that said even if the entire thing isn’t relevant, at least try to find a Golden Nugget. You know, that one burst of new inspiration that makes it all worth your time. And, I did find the Golden Nugget, which I’ll share with you in a minute. The movie peaked my interest when they said it’s not your fault that you’re fat, but instead, it’s the new food we eat that causes our body to store excess fat and save up for the prehistoric “winter” that never comes. Our bodies operate the way they always have, but our modern processed foods are completely different.

Another point that I found interesting was that they said you can eat 10,000 calories a day and still be hungry because you didn’t eat any nutrients. “We are overfed, yet starving to death at the same time.” Of course everyone says to lose weight you need to eat less and move more, but I like that this documentary took time to acknowledge that losing weight is also a mind game. “It’s what you eat, drink and think.” They explained that addiction is the biggest cause of obesity and people just don’t understand it. Obesity is the solution as opposed the problem.  People use food to solve their problems.  They went into further details about MSG, sugar and the infamous high fructose corn syrup and the effects that it has on your body. Some of it I knew, but some of it I didn’t. I never really thought about how the food industry intentionally creates products to make us addicted and buy more.

I thought about how people who are vegetarians, shop at the Whole Foods store and/or avoid sugar are often ostracized as seen as weird. Why?? For 200,000 years people ate unprocessed food, and only in recent times has processed sugary food been so readily available. Yet we call the people who eat organic food just like our ancestors ate strange. It made me realize that part of the reason I don’t want to give up certain processed and sugar foods is simply because I don’t want to be one of those weird Whole Foods shoppers, I want to be normal.

Then a college memory was triggered. For some bizarre reason I had a bet with one of my college friends that we could only eat vegetables for an entire week. We both did it, and at the end of the week, I felt great, lost weight, and my skin was absolutely glowing. It’s clear what kind of food my body likes, but my mind is more concerned about whether it’s too difficult, too expensive or if I’ll seem weird. We’re actually kind of brainwashed into believing that this new (100-year-old) way of eating is natural when in reality it’s anything but. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not ready to jump off into the vegan organic sugar-free world just yet. But this movie was a great eye opener as to how much of my thoughts and actions about food are what was taught by the food industry commercials and accepted as the norm, as opposed to what my body actually wants and needs to function.

If you’re open-minded I think Hungry for Change is a great way to see food from a different perspective. Oh! I almost forgot about the Golden Nugget. There was a lady in the movie, sorry I forgot her name, but she had an amazing affirmation statement. She said to say each day “I accept myself unconditionally as I am right now.” The “unconditional” part struck a chord with me. I like some parts about me, but not everything unconditionally. It made me wonder “why I don’t accept myself unconditionally?” This is the only me that I’m ever going to be so I might as well get to loving it. I wrote it on piece of paper and taped it on the mirror in my bathroom. I’ve been saying it every morning. It’s not all the way true just yet, but each day it gets a little easier to believe. I’m glad that someone recognizes that even with being healthy, your mind has to be right and that your actions will soon follow…

“I accept myself unconditionally as I am right now!”

After an embarrassing 15 minute disaster of getting my Master lock stuck in the locker and having to get the maintenance GUY come in the women’s locker room and help me remove it, I really felt like going home before I even got started.  But, I was already there, and decided not the let my frustrations become an excuse not to workout. I pumped myself up to go run on the treadmill. It was indeed the complete opposite of Club Fitness. There was absolutely no one on the weight machines, the treadmills or the ellipticals. I had to look around and wondered if it was closed or something. I didn’t feel like fighting the crowd but jeez, I didn’t really want to run totally alone either.  I guess you can’t be too picky. A few minutes into my warm-up walk an old guy came in and got on the treadmill next to me. I felt relieved that I wasn’t in there by myself anymore, but I thought, hmm that’s funny, it’s 20 free treadmills and he got on the one right next to me? I kind of chuckled, because I guess everybody prefers to feel like they’re not doing it alone.  I ran three-minute and five-minute intervals along with Week 4 of my Couch to 5K podcast. I finished up 2 miles and worked up a good dripping sweat, you know, the gross kind that makes you feel like you accomplished something.

Since I was at the YMCA I decided to use the amenities available. I had planned ahead and packed my swimsuit in my gym bag.  I changed into my swimsuit grabbed some water dumbbells and swam, floated and frolicked in the pool. I swam to the deep end and back a few times. Then I decided to get in the whirlpool jacuzzi. I saw a carmel-coated sexy piece of eye candy with an amazing six-pack come out of the steam room. “Dang, I should’ve gone in the steam room first,” I said laughing to myself.  I noticed the whirlpool didn’t have any bubbles. Like a damsel in distress I asked Mr. Caramel to help me turn on the bubbles. He went over and pushed the bubble button for me, and then he went back into the steam room. It would have been too obvious at that point for me to get out and follow him.  I didn’t wanna be the weird the stalker chick at the pool.  So, I soaked in the hot tub and the warm power jets felt so good against my back and relaxed all my tight muscles from my run earlier.  I was in the relaxation zone and soon forgot all about him. When I was getting out of the whirlpool, Mr. Caramel was leaving the steam room and I saw him go into the sauna. I would’ve liked to sit next to him in the sauna, and maybe strike up a conversation, but sometimes the sauna feels too much like I’m being baked alive inside an oven, so I made my final stop in steam room. It was so refreshing and relaxing too, I felt like I was going to fall asleep. Not a muscle in my body was tense, I was completely de-stressed. I felt like I had been to the spa!  It was a fantastic way to spend an afternoon.

Later that afternoon, I ate some peanuts before my counseling session to curb my dinner appetite that often temps me to go to the drive thru. I told my counselor that I’m struggling with the idea I should probably never eat sugar again and didn’t want to accept that. She told me to plan a strategic “cheat day” once a week. Of course I’ve thought about a planned cheat day, but I never really implemented it. I might give it a try, everything else she’s suggested has done well and works for me.

I called my Gym Cousin afterwards and told him to meet me at the gym. Of course, he was already planning to go anyway. I got on the elliptical stair climber thingy and climbed for 30 minutes. I remember when I first started going to the gym I couldn’t do it for even five minutes. Unfortunately, it made my feet hurt, and my knees a little sore, so I don’t think I will do it for that long next time. I’ll probably stick to the regular elliptical machine and the treadmill. My cousin arrived just as I finished, and we got on treadmills next to each other. We talked about celebrity gossip and who’s dating who. I was also catching a sneak peek of my gym time guilty pleasure the Kardashians. Some of it is clearly scripted, but it’s so doggone entertaining… I did an easy walk for 30 minutes.  My cousin told me he was “just getting started” and I told him my hour was up, and I was headed home out getting of the rain. Once I got home I had to really give myself a pat on the back. I was able to sync up healthy eating and fitness and caring for my emotional well-being all in one day. It feels great to go to bed in peace knowing I made healthy decisions.

P.S.  I lost 2.8 pounds this week!  Woot-Woot! 16 pounds lost.

Later in the afternoon, my Mom picked me up and we went to a small church in North County.  I wasn’t sure what to expect, so I had an open mind.  My aunt, my cousin and her daughter we there too. I love spending time with my family.

We all gathered around in the sanctuary.  I know some churches would never allowing dancing in the church, let alone the sanctuary, but I guess that was the only place with enough room in the small building.  None of my family is really shy and we all stood in the front row near the instructors. The main instructor was awesome, she told us the only rules were to 1) Have fun 2) Forgive yourself if you miss a step 3) and Keep moving.  We started with a warm-up that was typical of a low impact group aerobics class. We walked in place and did neck rolls and lunges.

The first slide line dance that we did was called the “Sanctified Slide.”  It was basic enough for us newbies to move and step to the beat. It reminded me of the classic Electric Slide, but with Gospel music instead. Each line dance got progressively more challenging, and more fun! The last dance was called “Everybody Clap Your Hands,” with cute cowboy kicks and 3 step shuffles with a clap. There was even a “raise the roof” arm lifting dance.  I actually worked up a sweat during this dance.  She told us to add our own flavor and we were moving and grooving in the church.  By the end of class, we had learned four complete line dance routines.   Just when I thought it was over, she played each of the songs and we did all of the dances back to back without step by step instruction.  I had a blast!  Some people were too tired to hang on until the end, but it made me feel good that I was able to keep up the whole time.  The other instructor was wearing a pedometer and told us that over the course of the hour and a half long class, we completed 3 miles.  It was so fun, I couldn’t believe we took that many steps. People asked me afterwards how many times I’d previously attended, because of the way I moved around and kept up.  “Never” I said with a laugh, “never even heard of it.”   I planned to go to the gym afterwards for a “real” workout.  But, when I got home and got out of the car my legs were sore.  I felt each step all through my thighs and my calves.  That was indeed a “real” workout, even though I wasn’t in the gym. That was enough for me.  The instructor said she teaches a “secular” line dancing class on Saturdays at the local community college.  I’ll definitely be looking it up, what a fun way to finish 3 miles. 

As soon as I heard the news reports about the bombings at the Boston Marathon, my heart instantly hurt  for the participants.  My first thoughts were “Oh my God, after months of training they didn’t get to finish?” “Were any my Fierceling Fan runners participating in the race?” When you’re a runner, you feel like you belong to an elite community; because in a sense, you do.  I read that only 1% of people actually complete a marathon (26.2 Miles)  in their lifetime.  The incredible amount of discipline and dedication it takes to train for a race is what makes runners special.  I always try to find the good, even in awful stories like this.  The best story I came across was about a 78-year-old man, who was knocked over by the explosion. He suffered minor injuries, but he got up and finished the race!  Runners don’t quit.  His story and the stories of all the impromptu heroes that helped bandage and carry those injured, showed human kindness amongst the uglyness of the tragedy. 

I’ve finished a half-marathon, and have goals to complete a full marathon.  But, for now, I’m training for my next 5K, the Graffiti Run in June.  Today is Weigh In Wednesday, my once a week weigh in to monitor my progress.  Last week was such a good week for me.  I focused on being healthy, not just getting skinny, and lost a couple pounds.  This week some unhealthy food slipped in.  I’m taking notes of the foods that really trigger me to eat more and make me feel out of control.  Of course I know cookies are a trigger but I learned that ice cream is too.  I’m always the one that wants to test the system.  Maybe if I eat a small amount of ice cream, I’ll be fine.  But I was wrong, after eating it, I all of sudden wanted cookies and I wanted fries and had a taste for a sweet drink.  But part of me is still in denial, I just don’t want to be one of those weird people that say crazy stuff like I’m allergic to sugar.  I want to be able to have bite of ice cream without it turning me into the fat monster that HAS to have more.  But, you know I guess that’s life.  I want a million dollars and world peace, but sometimes you have to work with what you’ve got. 

I didn’t know what the scale would show me, I jumped on and then off quickly as if that would make a difference.  You know, like when you keep pressing the elevator button once it’s already been pressed?  You know that realistically, its not going to make it come down any faster, but you feel more involved in the waiting process.  Jumping off the scale quickly made me feel like I might sway the number it displayed.  I gained .4 pounds.  Not too bad, it actually could’ve been way worse with all the constant cravings I felt.   But I’m getting tired of playing around with this weight loss thing.  Tried of gain a pound, lose a pound. I just want to DO it.

I’m reprogramming my brain again, focusing on healthy, because it’s so easy to slip back into, I just want to be thin and look good.  Today, I’m focusing on the Serenity Prayer, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (I’m an emotional overeater),  Courage to change the things I can (I can follow a food plan where I eat wholesome foods that reduce the cravings and help me make better decisions) and Wisdom to know the difference. (just because I struggle with food doesn’t mean I have to lose the battle.)

For me, I’ve always had both parents, so walking with them in the park is typically no big deal. But as I get older and looked at the fact that some people have such contentious relationships with their mothers and have never had a father, I’ve begun to appreciate our time together even more. It was a perfect evening for walking, a cool breeze and no rain in sight. When we started our walk, my Daddy was coaching me through the appraisal process when purchasing or refinancing a home. He’s recently gotten back into real estate investing and says that ultimately he wants to leave a paid for house for each of his girls when he’s gone. I was a licensed realtor and owned two investment properties, so I’m very familiar with the appraisal process. But, I listened anyway, because my Pastor said you can’t learn anything if you think you already know everything. Most of it I did know, but I did learn that you can find your own comparable houses and ask them to do a re-appraisal if you don’t like the numbers they came up with.

As we rounded the basin where me and the Little Sister often like to walk in the summer, there were high schooler’s hanging out before prom in beautiful dresses and tuxedos, and there was even an outdoor wedding with a stretch Hummer limousine. {Insert cool pic I forgot to take here. Sorry!}
Feeling inspired I said “Mama, will you make my wedding dress?”  “Ohhhh no, she said, That’s waaay too much detail and waaaaay too much time.” My mother is my favorite black female entrepreneur, because I saw her start with a crazy dream and fearlessly build her own thriving business after her job of more than 20 years ended. Realistically, she probably doesn’t have months of free time to devote to making my future wedding dress, but with no fiancé in my near future, I’ve got time to convince her….. “How did you girls feel when she made your prom dresses?” Dad asked. I told him that me and my Little Sister were thrilled! Not only did it mean that it was custom-made to perfectly fit our unique body shapes but we were also guaranteed not to see another girl in our dress.

As we walked more, me and Mom chatted about the free makeup gifts I got with my cosmetic purchases at the mall and Dad interjected and pointed out his favorite golf course holes. Then we talked about all the new spices I bought at the farmers market this morning.

Mom asked what was up with me and my Special Friend. “Ugh” I said while rolling my eyes, “we’re back to never agreeing on anything.” I explained our latest debate and she concluded that we both had valid points, and the problem was that we’re both smart control freaks. I’m willing to be flexible but whew, sometimes he’s just exhausting.

Later, we talked about how her and my Dad are featured in their college alumni magazine for having met and fell in love on campus 30 sum odd years ago. That of course hasn’t been my story, but seeing them gives me hope that happy marriages can last and work. But in the mean time, I’m glad to report that our family walk, burned a couple hundred calories and we completed 2.1 miles.

When I got home from work, I talked on the phone with my 4-year-old niece for about 45 minutes. She makes up a song about everything. One song’s lyrics were “It’s gon’ okay, it’s gon’ to be okay, I’m gon’ to find a way! I’m gon’ to find a way! Now, typically I would say that as a kid she hasn’t experienced much real struggle, but in her case she’s had more life struggles than the average adult. She was born 4 months early at 1.7 pounds. If I listed all the challenges she over came to survive in the NICU, you’d be overwhelmed. And even today, despite severe asthma and allergies coupled with a host of other things premature babies deal with, she’s always been a trooper and rarely complains about being sick. Her “always pressing forward” spirit motivated me. My only struggle today was being to lazy to get dressed. Now, her next song about cooking make-believe mashed potatoes and “noo-doos” for dinner was slightly less inspirational. “That’s a lot of carbs Honey, can Auntie get a vegetable?” I asked. “Ummmm, ummmm I don’t know” she said confused by my request, and then she reminded me that I’m “really really far away,” hinting at the fact that I wasn’t going to eat her pretend dinner anyway. I listened to the songs she made up as she played on the keyboard, and waited for her to spin around and around, while assuring me she wouldn’t get dizzy. I wrapped up the conversation and told we could Skype later.

Although a tornado warning was issued, my Gym Cousin was already at the gym and wanted me to join him. I hadn’t worked out since our race on Saturday. I got dressed and headed to the gym despite the storm warning. We Missourians sometimes don’t take the warnings as seriously as we should. There was no rain when I left the house, but by the time I got the gym it was pouring down buckets of rain with fast winds. I felt kind of dumb then for ignoring the tornado sirens, but I was already there. Once I made it inside mostly dry, I was grateful for the umbrella I always leave in the car. Me and and my Cousin swapped stories about dumb stuff we did as kids stories on treadmills next to each other. He told me about the crazy time he jumped out of the second-story window with an umbrella in a brave attempt to fly. And I told him about the time I accidentally set a fake plant in the bathroom on fire with a candle during a power outage, and then closed the door so I wouldn’t get in trouble about burning up the plant. Clearly not thinking that I’d be in much more trouble for closing the door and subsequently burning down the house. Luckily everyone survived both incidents with no broken bones or burns (on me, nor the bathroom, just the little plant.)

I was so tired from staying too late and didn’t have a run in me. My cousin did Week 5 Day 2 while we talked. I power walked, and we both finished a full hour before we got off the treadmill. The storm had passed and made it home safely, shocked to find that the tornado actually touched down in some spots! I guess as my Mama says, “God watches over babies ‘n fools.”