Fighting Myself

All day long I was fighting myself about tonight’s run.  I was sitting at my desk at work, asking myself, why in the world did I sign up for a half marathon? Who would volunteer to run 13 miles? Then, I started thinking to myself, I probably can’t even do it…This evening when I came home, I talked on the phone with my best friend until almost 7 pm, like that would make my running obligations disappear.  When I got off the phone, the run was still there looming in my thoughts.  How did Monday come so quickly?  I got dressed in my cut off t-shirt and sweat pants anyway and picked up my little sister, who asked to join me.  I was dreading today’s workout all the way through the warm-up walk and part of the first 90 second run.   Then it hit me, “Why am I fighting myself?”  Is that not one of the dumbest things a person can do?  We have so many things that are out of our control on a daily basis, why waste time and energy fighting myself?   It was time to stop being lazy and making excuses….I started to run a little faster, and the looming, “you’ll never make it” cloud above me started to fade.  It’s all mental.  It’s just a head game that I play with myself.  But the good part is, I have control over my thoughts, and your thoughts shape your reality….so, with a cramp in my side, and my juicy calf muscles burning on fire, I boldly tackled Day 1 of Week 3.