Why am I panicking? Because my pants are too tight. Like way too tight, like will these even button tight. I can’t go back to where I was. I REFUSE to go back up a pants size. I looked at my fat pictures today, I was miserable back then. I know that I need to write down all of my food. Even though it feels dumb, like writing down every time you pee; It’s something I’m going to have to do. I have to stop fighting myself… I’ve been whining and complaining to my co-worker girl friend. And, instead of being fake and saying, girl you look just fine. She said I’m bringing a healthy lunch for us tomorrow. She brought a weight watcher recipe with egg noodles, chicken breast, asparagus and broccoli. Then we walked the last half hour of our break. Today, I brought chili with chopped red and yellow peppers for our lunch. Then we power walked again for a half hour. The sun was shining bright today, I told her we had to stay in the shade, so I wouldn’t be too sweaty, and go back to work smelling like a third grader. I guess I’ll have to bring some extra deodorant ….
Mr. Man found my blog. He sent me a text message while I was at work. It said “I got on ur website it is awesome” I was really excited that he finally read it since it’s a major part of life and very special to me, but then I thought about all my private stuff that I tell y’all and was a little worried. When we talked later that night he told me he thought my blog was “sexy”…. “Sexy???” I asked. Clearly he missed the “HolyCrap” colonics post LOL! ….. I said what do you mean by sexy? He said that he liked that I chronicled everything from our first date, our couple workouts up until now, and that it made him feel special. I’m so uncensored, but glad that he still liked it. Then he suggested that we go to dance lessons. That’s something I’ve never done as an adult. I found a local dance group that does a 1 hour Tango dance lesson, and then a party at the Ritz to show off everything you learned. It sounds like a ton of fun. I think it will make me feel like Morticia in the Addams Family Movie…..He said I hope I don’t step on your feet. I said “You better not” Mr. Man is 6’2 tall and size 14 shoe and I’m 5’3 & ½. (Yeah my ½ inch counts). Anyway, I can’t wait to tell you guys all about it!
What Did Carli Eat Today?
B – Lemon Poppy seed Muffin & Skim Milk & Coffee
L– Chili I made last night – no crackers
S– Chicken breast slice on a tortilla with salsa
D– Chicken, spinach and Feta Cheese Crepe, Peach Tea Cocktail with my friends
So….hopefully you don’t think I’m crazy by following your blog…like I check it everyday. I hope that’s okay. Here is what I have to say about this post. Carli, you are so amazing. Obviously, I don’t know you…but you share your heart, share your soul in this blog and it resonates with me…to the core. Do we really need to write down EVERYTHING we eat???? Seriously. Well, okay, maybe yes. Until we get the hang of things, which, thank the Holy Lord, doesn’t have to happen over night. Good for your girlfriend to be so supportive. That, to me, is better than a food journal. You said, week 3 (or maybe 2) to surround yourself with positive people and you have. I know you will not ever get to “where you were.” You are just way too conscience. While I am working hard at losing the same stupid 6 freaking pounds, I just think to myself, how awesome that I can run. That I have the chance to move and do something good. Even though I am struggling at getting to my next lower weight level, I know that I am already stronger.
Okay, sermon over. I hope that even if your pants are too tight right now, believe me (I know that feeling all to well), you can see the bigger picture. You are already more fit, mentally and physically, than where you started.
Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable. You are such an inspiration to others and, I hope, to yourself as well.
🙂 Jenn
Jenn I LOVE that you follow my blog and leave comments. I appreciate you letting me know that I’m not spending an hour and half writing blog posts and putting in links that nobody reads. And you’re right, like they say we didn’t gain it over night and we won’t lose it over night. Thank you so much for your encourgment! And keep on running!
I agree with Jennifer… I don’t check EVERY day.. (wow, Jenn, you a stalker or what? haha :)…
but I do check your site a few times a week… isn’t technology amazing?
can’t wait to hear about how the dancing goes… I love Dancing with the Stars… have thought about going somewhere but I’m sort of on my own … gotta get more brave.. anyway, will be reading avidly! (Hi Jenn! isn’t Carli fun to lecture? she called me “momma helen” once, after I scolded her about running after that crazy b*&tch that stole her bag… ) have a nice week!
Hi Helen! I love the Carli blog. So inspiring, motivating and fun. Yeah, it looks like I’m a cyber-stalker but really, I just enjoy reading her stuff. So much of what she says is EXACTLY what I am feeling or dying to say…but don’t!
This is the first time I’ve followed a blog and have interaction with the “blogger.” Maybe I need a life…but I’m lovin’ it anyway!
Jenn
Hi, I love the blogs as well. They are so funny and such an inspiration….Can’t wait to see pics/details of the dancing Carli! Have fun!
Linda
Sooo wonderful AGAIN!!! YES I write down my food everyday!!! Its like when we were eating..I never thought..should I order a bunch of food or eat healthy…it never crossed our minds..NOW we are conscious…so we have to be conscious around the food..Overeaters Anonymous is a wonderful program and its FREE!!!!! I LOVE IT…I learned that I dont want to write down food because I am comfortable being VAGUE around the food…Well that means being in the DARK…being vague is being in the dark…guess what yall…THAT WILL GET ME BACK OVER 300 LBS….so being vague is not a good idea…writing down my food..is…and YES IT WORKS…
You rock..I love your blog,,,I love your blog..lol I love your blog…Its like writing down every time you pee…lol lol lol lololl and smelling like a third grader…lollololol THANKS AGAIN for sharing..
K.I.S.S. Keep it simple sweetie…when it comes to food..the simpler the better…protien, veggies and a grain…DONE!!!!! I also can’t be afraid of a meal with a protein, veggies and a salad..I WONT PASS OUT….!!!!
THANKS AGAIN FOR TRUDGING THIS ROAD WITH US…and helping up to know that we are not alone…
Hey Carli, it’s ok to panic, it’s human nature, but what matters is how you deal with the panic, and to me your panic has turned into a more determined and focused goal, which is good. Continue to keep that drive and you will be fierce before you know it. Of course, you know how I love to read your blogs, I tell you everytime I see you. LOL ;o) I can’t wait to see the pics from your tango dance. Tell Mr. Man I said “Hello”. Have fun and good luck….cause tango is a workout.
Hey Keta, thanks for commenting, your comments are always so encouraging. But I was thinking the same thing, if it weren’t for my little “panic” I would propbably still be gaining. Instead, I’m eating a salad right now! I will definitely tell Mr. Man you said hello, and we’ll be at your B-day party next weekend.
Aunt Cleo, I love that you get a kick out of the crazy little stuff I say. I wish you lived closer so we could workout together. And you are so right, what was done in the dark showed up when my pants wouldn’t button. But I like your idea of keeping it simple. I think I’ll do Tilapia, Steamed Veggies and brown rice for dinner. Good idea!