I couldn’t choose between “Holy Crap” (because today is Sunday) or “I Was Full of Crap” as a blog post title. Because, both titles are totally accurate….. Somehow, some way, my Big Little Sister, convinced me to go get colonics. I was always curious about it, but never bold enough to actually do it….until today. It’s supposed to be good to jumpstart weight loss and cleanse old gross stuff off of your colon walls. We went to Dr. Israel a certified holistic colon hydro-therapist. I was so proud that I could check off the highest rating for exercise habits, 3-5 times a week, and leave the soda drinker box blank on the health pre-screening form. Now, I’m warning you, I’m about to get really graphic and really gross, but you know you’re curious too! So keep reading, I won’t tell anybody you read this… So here is how the “crap” went down today. I made my sister go first, because we are so similar in so many ways that I knew that whatever adverse reaction she would have, I would probably have also. The doctor was freakishly excited, and told my sis to lube up her butt with vegetable oil and get on the table-like board connected to a toilet. She covered her legs with a towel for privacy, while she laid on her back in the baby delivery position. She then instructed her to find the right hole and insert the tube. How do I know? Because, I was right there watching everything. Call me gross, but I needed to know the process if I was going to do it. The doctor turned on the water and the process began. It reminded of siphoning gas from a car. The water flows in and somehow the water and everything else comes flowing out. My sister said “I feel like you’re watching me take a dump” to which I replied “That’s because I am.” She said after a few minutes it felt almost therapeutic, like the toxins were being flushed away. I was still very skeptical about the whole thing. But, I went along with it and took my turn on the board after my sister and the doctor got all cleaned up. I covered up my good pieces with the towel across my knees. Me and my sis are close, but we had to draw the line somewhere LOL! I put the small tube in, and believe it or not that was the least uncomfortable part about the whole experience. The procedure was horrible! The doctor said people who are control freaks often have a hard time relaxing and letting go. Well, I am a control freak, and it was very hard for me to feel comfortable involuntarily doo-dooing on a table. It felt so gross, like I had gas and diarrhea. Finally after about 45 minutes of poop and warm water spraying out of my butt, it was almost over. I had to run to the bathroom twice after I got up. I felt so sick, I was sweating and my legs were shaking. My sister even admitted that she didn’t tell me about the bad parts because she knew I wouldn’t have done it! She is unbelievable! I will NOT do this again. The doctor explained that it was the body’s way of going through a detoxification process, and that she has seen colonics cure everything from allergies to cancer. Whatever! If that’s what it takes, then I guess I’ll just remain “Full of crap.”
About the Author: Carli Fierce is a Fitness and Weight Loss Blogger promoting a healthy lifestyle through her book “The Official 5K Training Guide”, hundreds of blog posts and FREE 5K Training podcasts that have helped people around the world get up and run. Follow her on Facebook.com/CarliFierce, on Twitter @CarliFierce, Instagram @CarliFierce.